DANSA

We Drink A Lot

Find us at the bar. Any bar.

We Whistle While We Work

Plus, there’s the occasional rant.

We Have The Power

And we don’t use it wisely.

This is Some Random Thing

Because we like purple.

People Rave About us

(And we question their sanity)

“I would ask for my Brother to be a DANSA member as a Legacy, but he can get in on his own merits.”

Bob

chief usher, dansa

“Wow, your website is LEGIT!”

Austin

bewildered bar patron and above average billiards player

A few things we’re great at

Consuming “Beverages”

Cultivating a Sour Outlook

Blindly Obeying Manglement

Full Transparency

Aging Not So Gracefully

Being Delicious (we don’t name the icons)

Driving People Crazy

Tooting Our Own Horns

Our Team of Addle-Minded Geniuses

We’re really quite intelligent, but IQ isn’t everything

John

Founder & Chief Non-Executive Officer

The chief dumbass is also our chief recruiter — not a day goes by that John doesn’t find a new member for DANSA. To John, membership drives are just another day at the office.

Mike

Chief Non-Information Officer

Curator of the nerdery, Mike keeps the tasty bits of data flowing to and fro using his exceptional geekery skillz — proving that you’re never too smart to be a dumbass!

Adam

Public Non-Relations

Knowledge is power, and Adam empowers anyone who will actually listen. As DANSA’s PR guy, he relates well to the public — especially when someone yells “Hey dumbass, get me a beer!”

Joel

Technology and Comic Non-Relief

Joel is even more Unix-y than our CIO/CTO! He is clever, wily and witty — a prime example that you can have everything going for you and still be a dumbass.

Duane

Youth Programs

Duane loves to clown around, even without makeup! Can you believe that he actually begged to be in DANSA? Even sent his picture in unsolicited! What a dumbass!

Daniel

Motor Pool Non-Manager

Daniel is responsible for the care and feeding of Duane’s clown car. His look in this photo reflects the dumbassery he knows he’s getting himself into!

Paul

Amassador to Ireland

Fluency in English, Irish and Dumbassery makes Paul uniquely qualified to lead our international expansion asspirations. We consider him our Lucky Charm!

Dan

Chief Non-Operating Officer

There are operators and there are non-operators, and when you need a non-operator for your daily dumbassery, you need Dan the man. We could certainly do worse… maybe…

James

Non-Wellness Coordinator

Our resident Lord of the DANSA is eager to help the public get fit. Sign up for his program, memorize his wicked dumbass dance moves, and watch those pounds fall off!

Bob

Host with the Non-Most

First impressions are lasting impressions! Bob cleans up nicer than the rest of us, so he will be the first person you see at the DANSA store – handsome enough to put you at ease but still enough of a dumbass to show you what you’re getting into.

Jeff

Customer Non-Experience

Lacking the time or desire to act on your problems, Jeff will smile, nod and suggest dumbass solutions to your issues, yet will do nothing about them once you have walked away. At DANSA, we call this unique skill “management”.

Jim

Cruise Non-Director

We saw the “asscot” and immediately thought Jim would be the perfect party planner. What we didn’t count on, however, was him falling into allegiance with little miss no fun, so it’s back to the dumbass drawing board…

Marc

Chief Elevator Non-Operator

Ever hungered for the elevator you’re traveling on to stop at EACH and EVERY floor between your origin and destination? If so, then Marc is your man. His aimless nature – coupled with a desire to cover all his bases – will tame the most express of elevators, and that’s a dumbass guarantee! All aboard!!!

Joe

Non-Personal Non-Director of Dis-Relations

What is a “Non-Personal Non-Director of Dis-Relations”? Beats the hell out of us! (We’re dumbasses, after all.) Once we figure it out we’ll let you know!

Ilene

Animal Non-Control

“Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal!” takes on a unique meaning here at DANSA. After all, we are the animals, and it is Ilene’s job to corral us. Consider her a den mother of sorts. Needless to say, she fails more than she succeeds, which just goes to show that you can have lofty goals and still be a dumbass.

Say Hello

Here it is, your dream come true – an opportunity to communicate with DANSA. If you feel the need or desire, just put some information in this simple little form and click the Submit button!

WE THRIVE ON "DENSE-ITY"